i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Randomize
