Your tits are I can't wait for
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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