My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
