So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
