I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
