Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
