Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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