Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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