girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
