Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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