Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
