I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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