Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
