I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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