Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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