im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
