Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
