The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
