I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
