I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
