take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is it penis luge time yet?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
