dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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