I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Semen is not good for contacts.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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