Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
