Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
