On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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