just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
