wakey wakey hands off snakey
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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