i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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