Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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