He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
