I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
