We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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