Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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