im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
