is wine microwaveable?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
