once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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