I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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