he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
