The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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