Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
