I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She tied me up with her honor cords...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
