You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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