On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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