Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
