okay pat passed out under dana's car
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
