Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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