Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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