You're so nebulous sometimes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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