she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
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