at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Girls should come with a carfax report
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
