It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
