That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
