i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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