yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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