Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
