But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
