She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
