I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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