Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
