BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
