I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
