Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
