so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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