The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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