apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
